...Never mind...

[walkyourownway]

EDIT: Eh, so I'm probably not going to do that thing I mentioned before anyway. And if you don't know what thing that is, that's okay because I removed any reference of it.

I was actually going to just delete this post in general, but I just couldn't bring myself to delete the scene I wrote below. It's not very good at all, but for some reason I can't help but be proud of it. So it got to stay.

Down the hall the grandfather clock began to chime the hour, interrupting the conversation between the two still seated on the couch. Even muffled by the walls, they easily heard the timepiece tell the hour.

The bells rang twelve times, and in her surprise she looked towards the digital clock across the room to confirm the time. "I didn't realize how late it was," she murmured. Her family had gone to bed hours ago, having much to do the next morning. Turning to her companion, she said, "You should probably get to bed. You have to work early tomorrow, right?"

He made a noncommittal noise, his eyes on the clock. Then he looked at her with a smile. "Don't worry about it. I'll be okay."

But she saw past his facade; the smile he gave her had none of the warmth or cheer of the smiles he wore just minutes ago. "You really should go to sleep," she insisted. "I'd hate to keep you up any later."

He shook his head. "No, I don't mind. This is...this is fine."

She sighed softly. "You need rest." Then she smiled, though it was small and hesitant. "I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind if you stayed in the guest bedroom...given the circumstances."

"I..." He rubbed the back of his neck, nervously glancing around the room before his eyes fell on her again. "I guess. It's just...I don't know if I want to."

She nodded, understanding his hesitation. And she hated knowing that she was to blame for the pain. She rearranged herself on the couch so she was turned to him completely. "It'll be okay," she assured him.

He studied her face, searching her sweet expression as though trying to see past it. "Will...will you promise me something?"

"What?"

"Just...just promise me that you'll still be here in the morning. That you'll be here when I wake up. Okay?"

"Of course. I'll still be here." Then she smiled again. "I'll even wait for you until you get off work. Then you can come by and see me on your way home."

He stared hard at her, his glare softened by the desperation in his eyes. "Promise?"

She nodded again. "I promise."

He frowned, a dark glint of doubt reflecting in his eyes. And she couldn't blame him for not believing her. Even as she spoke the words, she had trouble believing herself.

His hand twitched, aching to reach out to her, to hold her like he always did. Instead he rose from the couch, standing in front of her awkwardly. "Well...good night, I guess..."

"Good night," she replied, watching as he headed for the hall.

He paused just as he reached the doorway, hesitating once more. He turned, looking back to see her still sitting on the couch and simply staring at the floor. "Hey," he said.

She looked up. "What?"

"I love you. You know that, right?" His voice was soft, a bare whisper, but the words were strong with absolute truth. "I'll always love you."

This time her smile was a more genuine one, despite the sadness that still lingered. "I know. Me too."

He smiled as well, then turned away before it could waver. The snap of the light switch echoed as the room was plunged into darkness.

She remained seated, perfectly still on the couch; she worried that any movement would betray her, would draw her away. Even now, gentle words breathed in her ear, calling her to a place she'd never been, yet was so familiar and comforting, tempting her to leave everything else behind. She ignored it, concentrating instead on the faint tick-tick-ticking of the grandfather clock in the other room. But she didn't know how long she could last, how long she could resist the urge to let it all go.

She didn't know how long she could hold on to a life she'd already lost.